This Tea is Forever for Two

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Dear Mom,

I just sat down to have a cup of tea, and I wanted you to know that every sip of tea that I have, and will forever have, is full of memories and thoughts of you. Do you recognize the hot pad under the mug? Yes. It’s yours. You must have had that for years. I’m glad you kept it.

I know tea was one of your most favorite things in the world.  And now it is one of my most favorite things as well, because of you.

It’s funny how something so simple, so ‘small’ such as tea, can become such an important part of our hearts. It reminds me of the moments I sat with you, at your kitchen table, a mug of warmth for our hands.  Sometimes, we weren’t even talking. We just relaxed over chai and cookies, or chai and your infamous pound cake, or chai and Indian soap operas, depending on whether a crazy drama was on that day.  But either way, there was always tea.

Tea was the first thing you always ordered when we went out to eat as well. I can’t forget the smile that even the thought of a fresh pot brought to your face. Priceless.

Thank you for always keeping a box of green tea in your cupboard just for me, even though I know you couldn’t understand how I could drink the stuff.  Sometimes, I think you probably wondered how I could be your daughter. Green tea? Seriously?  Is that how I raised you? is what I imagine you thinking sometimes.  That’s not real tea, is what I’m sure was going through your head.  Yet, you knew that was what I preferred, so you always had it ready for me.  I still only try to drink green tea or herbal tea. Sorry, Mom. The caffeine in the black stuff has somehow become too much for me.  But I do really miss it.

But now I keep a box of Tetley black tea in my cupboard for YOU.  Actually, it is YOUR box of tea, the last one that was left in your apartment.  It makes me feel like I can offer you some from earth to heaven, each time I sit down with my own cup.  And at times, I have given a teabag from your box to someone in my life whom I felt might benefit from the magic I believe your spirit sprinkled into those bags.

TETLEY.  Orange Pekoe or English Breakfast.  You couldn’t live without it.  And since I know I can’t live without you, I sip tea A LOT.  It gives me this feeling that you are still near me, still soothing me, with the warmth of your motherly magic.

You bring a whole other meaning to TEA COZY.

Tea for two. Forever, me and you.

And don’t think that this just works on me because I’m your daughter.

Don’t tell anyone, but your son bought a beautiful tea set – an ornate pot and little tea cups a couple of months ago. Now I KNOW that was your doing, from way up in heaven. I think deep down inside, he probably knows it too.

Thanks for continuing to warm us with your tea love from within, Mom.  We will always save a cup for you.

 

 

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My Angel MOTHER

“All I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel -my Mother.”
– Abraham Lincoln

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Dear Mom,

I found this angel in a box of Christmas decorations I had brought over from your place. Is this the same angel that was sitting on that mantel area next to your fireplace all this time?

I don’t know why I didn’t notice the words on it over the more recent years. I am sure I bought this for you at least 3 or 4 or more years before. But somewhere along the way, it got so familiar, just part of the other items in that area, that the message got lost to me. The words somehow became invisible.

But now that I’ve found it, the words, the rose against her cheek, the clinking of her transparent wings, the light green of her dress, the heavy drape of her falling sleeves and the old style letters on her skirt feel as if they are engraved deep within me.  Isn’t it funny how the value of something can shift so extremely?  Something I hardly looked at before has become one of the center pieces of my home and heart now.

When did I give this to you, Mom?
Did you ever read the words on it?

Or did you just feel its message, because of that Motherly magic of yours?

I keep it on my kitchen counter now, near where I do the dishes. I swear that on some days, when I look at it, or move it into the living room, it appears as if the face has changed- like the angel’s head has tilted to a slightly different angle. Like she, or you, are secretly watching me or watching over me.  Probably just wishful thinking. But either way, it has become one of the most precious items around my place.

I know that you were my angel mother on earth, but I hope that you truly are my angel up in heaven. That would mean that you are weightless, free with beautiful wings to carry you wherever you wish. And it would mean that you are free from any pain or suffering. That you are surrounded by, and filled with beauty, peace and love- that is my wish for you.

You always have been, and always will be, my Angel MOTHER.

I hope the other angels know how lucky they are to have you up there.

 

 

Thank you for being my Mom

Happy New Year, Mom.
I am sorry that I didn’t spend New Year’s with you last year. I didn’t know it would be my last one with you. That is something I will always regret. But I’m here with you now. And I’ve created this extra path of communication for us, exactly on New Year’s Eve, just after 12am, so I can continue to share my life with you.

Just one lifetime really wasn’t enough for us. There are so many things I still wanted to say to you and do with you. I hope you can feel them through this blog I’ve dedicated to you.

The first thing I want you to know is that I am very grateful that you are my mom. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Thank you for choosing me as your daughter, and for bringing me into this world. I love you. I still need you. Don’t ever think I don’t. I’d like you to still be a part of my life, and know that you are always on my mind and heart.

I wasn’t excited about moving into a new year. All I want to do is to go back to one year, any year, in which you were here. There are so many things I would change, and so many moments in which I would have been more present with you, if I had the chance again.

I hope this blog gives us a different kind of chance, to continue that relationship. The theme of it is called “Ever After”. I think it was originally supposed to be for weddings – haha- but oh well. The name suits the theme of what I’m trying to get across here.

This love, our connection, cannot end. I just won’t let it. My mother made me strong and gave me enough love to transcend time and space. I intend to use it on her, on you, my Mom.

Say Happy Birthday to Mama for me with a big hug and kiss attached. I hope she is taking good care of you up there.