Matching Pyjamas

Dear Mom,

I rarely go shopping anymore. It’s not the same without you.

But the other day, I took a little peak into La Vie En Rose. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I just hadn’t been in there for awhile. And guess what I found? Pyjamas with a tea theme!!! Not kidding you.

Of course, I fell in love with them right away. And you know the best part? The main colour they came in was yellow. That baby, spring yellow.  The print I liked the most had a pile of tea cups – one on top of the other- and under them was written “You’re my cup of tea.”  You are mine, Mom. My cup of tea.  Like all the things you loved about tea- the soothing, warm, relaxing, love it so much, you can’t live with it out it for too long- you got from each sip, that’s what I felt and still feel about you.

But I don’t have a choice in living without you physically. That was taken away. So I find ways to keep you with me in another sense- like writing these entries to you.

So I bought the tea cup pyjama top for you, for us.  -That particular one I described came in tank top style.  But as always, I imagined which kind would be good for you.  I know you wouldn’t have liked the tank top.  So just for fun, I tried on the short sleeve one as well. That one was also in yellow, but had a different message on it.  It says, “There’s always time for tea”. I didn’t buy it. It didn’t fit that well on me. But it would have been perfect for you, I think.

Remember how you hated trying clothes on in shops? And how I would get so frustrated with it because then we would go home and it wouldn’t fit and then guess who had to take the clothing item back?

But now, I would do anything to go into a shop for you and you buy as many clothes as you want, without trying even one on. And I would not say a word about it. Maybe just laugh. And I would just think of the trip back that would have to be made to return the ones that didn’t fit as an excuse to spend another day with you at the mall, or anywhere for that matter.

I wish I could have bought you the short sleeve pyjama shirt and some matching pyjama bottoms for both of us. And I would take them and my new yellow tea cup tank top with me to your place, ask you to put your new outfit on, and I would propose a mother-daughter sleepover, in matching pj’s.   I would also buy you slippers. Remember how much I loved buying you slippers? I loved seeing your feet look so cosy and comfortable.

We could have taken pictures of ourselves drinking tea in our tea cup pyjamas, and used the pictures and the memories of our sleepover for some good laughs at the next family gathering.  Or just keep it to ourselves. Either way, I wish I could have spent more fun, relaxing days with you like that. I wish I had made a better effort to make them happen.

All I can do now is think of you everytime I wear my pyjama top. And hope that you know that the words on it are for you, always.

And maybe next lifetime, if I am given another one with you, I will be sure to not miss an opportunity to wear matching pyjamas, shop together for as long as you want, and sip tea and laugh without worrying about what else there is ‘needed’ to be done or to go to. Because nothing was more important than you.

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This Tea is Forever for Two

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Dear Mom,

I just sat down to have a cup of tea, and I wanted you to know that every sip of tea that I have, and will forever have, is full of memories and thoughts of you. Do you recognize the hot pad under the mug? Yes. It’s yours. You must have had that for years. I’m glad you kept it.

I know tea was one of your most favorite things in the world.  And now it is one of my most favorite things as well, because of you.

It’s funny how something so simple, so ‘small’ such as tea, can become such an important part of our hearts. It reminds me of the moments I sat with you, at your kitchen table, a mug of warmth for our hands.  Sometimes, we weren’t even talking. We just relaxed over chai and cookies, or chai and your infamous pound cake, or chai and Indian soap operas, depending on whether a crazy drama was on that day.  But either way, there was always tea.

Tea was the first thing you always ordered when we went out to eat as well. I can’t forget the smile that even the thought of a fresh pot brought to your face. Priceless.

Thank you for always keeping a box of green tea in your cupboard just for me, even though I know you couldn’t understand how I could drink the stuff.  Sometimes, I think you probably wondered how I could be your daughter. Green tea? Seriously?  Is that how I raised you? is what I imagine you thinking sometimes.  That’s not real tea, is what I’m sure was going through your head.  Yet, you knew that was what I preferred, so you always had it ready for me.  I still only try to drink green tea or herbal tea. Sorry, Mom. The caffeine in the black stuff has somehow become too much for me.  But I do really miss it.

But now I keep a box of Tetley black tea in my cupboard for YOU.  Actually, it is YOUR box of tea, the last one that was left in your apartment.  It makes me feel like I can offer you some from earth to heaven, each time I sit down with my own cup.  And at times, I have given a teabag from your box to someone in my life whom I felt might benefit from the magic I believe your spirit sprinkled into those bags.

TETLEY.  Orange Pekoe or English Breakfast.  You couldn’t live without it.  And since I know I can’t live without you, I sip tea A LOT.  It gives me this feeling that you are still near me, still soothing me, with the warmth of your motherly magic.

You bring a whole other meaning to TEA COZY.

Tea for two. Forever, me and you.

And don’t think that this just works on me because I’m your daughter.

Don’t tell anyone, but your son bought a beautiful tea set – an ornate pot and little tea cups a couple of months ago. Now I KNOW that was your doing, from way up in heaven. I think deep down inside, he probably knows it too.

Thanks for continuing to warm us with your tea love from within, Mom.  We will always save a cup for you.